On the morning of Dec. 29, I was at my at my sister’s place in Kingston visiting for the holidays. When I woke up, I found her sitting in her kitchen with a cup of coffee. The first words out of her mouth left me stunned.
An Ottawa Police officer was stabbed and killed this morning,” she said. I immediately asked who the officer was, but she advised that no names had been released. She added that the officer was at the Civic Hospital on an unrelated matter when he was attacked by a male wielding a knife and succumbed to his injuries. I also learned that paramedics came to the officer’s aid and apprehended the male who was currently in police custody.
As much as we know that there are inherent risks associated to our profession, it is never easy to hear about the death of a colleague, especially when they are killed in the line of duty. You suddenly realize how vulnerable you are as an officer despite taking all precautions, being well trained and well equipped and having access to lots of information that helps you reduce the risk of being injured while on duty.
This tragic event reminded me that life can be unpredictable and at any given moment you could be faced with a life-threatening situation in which the outcome may be out of your control. The challenge faced by all of us when a tragic event shatters our previous sense of security is to accept that as much as we would like to believe that we can control our own destinies, life has a way of reminding us of the opposite.
The stress of these events comes from the fact that you realize that your previous sense of comfort was really an illusion rather than reality. If you try to regain your previous sense of security, your mind will first need to dissect the tragic event and everything associated with it so that you can take measures to ensure that such an event or situation doesn’t happen to you. This process causes a lot of stress on your mind and body, because deep down we know that always being able to control the outcome of a negative experience is not where the true solution lies.
Some of you may be wondering at this point what is that I am exactly talking about and I hope you are able to stay with me and fully understand where I am going with this.
If you choose to get your awareness of what’s going on from large media outlets, you will be immediately exposed to all the atrocities and tragic events in your local area and if things are quiet on the domestic front, you will be exposed to international stories of human pain and suffering. You may find this hard to believe, but I do not listen to the news very much and despite this I have been made aware of a colleague’s death, a failed attempt by a terrorist to detonate a bomb on a plane over the U.S. and a large earthquake that caused a tsunami that wreaked havoc on the Solomon Islands.
It is no wonder that we tend to feel constantly triggered by fear, as it seems as if the world is falling apart around us. We humans tend to do the same things when confronted by bad news. Our minds go into defense mode and start to seek out ways to deal with the perceived threat. What our minds crave at this point is to get as much information about the thing that threatens us so that it can create a plan of action to ensure that this won’t happen to us or to anyone else. But what happens when this information is not available, or it is revealed that there is very little that could have been done to realistically prevent this event or situation?
A natural disaster such as an earthquake is a perfect example of an event that is beyond our control and the only thing we can do is accept when it happens and deal with the consequences accordingly. It gets more difficult to find acceptance and forgiveness when it comes to a tragic event that was caused by the senseless actions of another human being.
Most victims of a violent crime find the most distressing aspect of their victimization is when they don’t understand why they were chosen to be victimized in the first place. This is especially true when the crime is a random act because on the surface there appears to be no connection between victim and the perpetrator. In a senseless and premeditated murder it is often those close to the victim who are left wondering how such a thing could happen and they often look to the police for answers or to a higher source.
Our mind tends to believe that most tragic events caused by human behaviour can be explained, predicted and controlled and this makes it very hard to accept that sometimes there is just nothing that could have been done to avoid the event itself or the outcome, much less explain a motive that defies logic.
We should be able to accept that despite our best intentions, occasionally bad things will happen. Acceptance of this helps you unconditionally enjoy the life you have because your enjoyment of life does not rely on the illusion that you can live a virtually risk free life.
Ironically, those people who fixate on living a risk life really do not have much of a life at all. Tragic events can and will happen and accepting this beforehand allows you to be best equipped to deal with a tragic event when it arrives on your doorstep, because at some point in your life it will. In doing so, the process of grieving is much less painful and you can quickly move beyond negative emotions such as helplessness, frustration, depression, blame, guilt, anger so that you can remember that there is a lot more good in this world than bad.
I later found out that my fallen colleague was Const. Eric Czapnik. I did not personally know Eric, but his senseless death certainly reminded me of my own vulnerability. It also reminded me that patrol officers, who assume the most risks because they are on the front line, should be properly acknowledged and shown compassion in death and especially in life.
I do not take for granted that I am able to engage the community in a different and more proactive way because officers such as Eric put on their uniform and respond to the type of calls that sometimes have tragic outcomes. I will remember Eric’s death for a long time, not only because of the tragic ending to his life, but also for the selfless and heroic actions of the paramedics who put themselves at risk to come to the aid of Eric and then apprehended his knife wielding attacker.
In life we define ourselves by the actions we take and the decisions we make during times of crisis and not by the mere fact that crisis, conflict and tragic events still exist amongst us. What we need to draw inspiration from and have faith in, is that when bad things happen in this world or in your backyard, your fellow human beings will be there for you.