VIEWPOINT: It takes more than ‘manbroidering’ to challenge gender norms

By Isaac Würmann

Calling all men!

Do you want to be part of the gender revolution? You’re in luck — these days all it takes is a needle and thread.

That’s how it seems after reading a recent CBC Ottawa profile of local blogger and budding cross-stitcher Mike Reynolds.

Reynolds, who runs the popular blog Everyday Girl Dad, started cross-stitching in January and now sells his creations — embroidered depictions of pop culture female icons such as Wonder Woman, Hermione Granger and Anne of Green Gables.

In his interview with CBC, Reynolds says part of the reason he cross-stitches is to challenge gender stereotypes and traditional notions of masculinity.

“What I am trying to do is show that men should be doing things that bring them joy and also teach that femininity is strong and powerful, as well,” he said.

This is a worthwhile goal. As sociologists Rachel Kalish and Michael Kimmel point out in their research on masculinity and violence, North American cultures of masculinity encourage the use of violence, especially when men feel their masculinity is threatened.

They look at the frequent mass shootings in the United States and point out that the majority of these violent acts are committed by men (the majority of whom are white) to “avenge a perceived challenge to their masculine identity.”

It’s obvious that something needs to change in the way we teach men about gender. However, I’m not sold on the idea that “manbroidering” is a radical step toward blurring the gender binary.

Instead, the celebration of men engaging in historically feminized and undervalued activities such as cross-stitching reifies traditional gender hierarchies.

While cross-stitch has been around for hundreds of years, as soon as a man takes a stab at embroidery it becomes front-page news. Reynolds only began cross-stitching three months ago, and he’s already writing columns about his experience, giving advice to fellow male cross-stitchers and selling his creations on his website.

This is a classic example of what’s known as the “glass escalator” — the concept that men who enter female-dominated professions get put on a fast-track to senior-level positions while women must slowly climb to the top.

For example, while women far outnumber men in jobs such as nursing and teaching, far more men occupy management positions in these fields.

That’s not to say that men can’t make valuable contributions in these professions, or in activities such as embroidery.

In Chicago, a pair of men have been posting their cross-stitching on Instagram as @chi_art_boyz since last August. “It’s calming and relaxing,” reads their Instagram bio. “It shows us that we can do more than people expect of us.”

By embroidering phrases such as “every person bleeds,” “equal rights for everyone,” and “race doesn’t define you,” the two stitchers’ art reflects their experiences as young Black men in America.

Men of colour and queer folks have been challenging our ideas about gender and masculinity for years, but the lessons they can teach us are forgotten when white men who take up feminized art forms are held up for “bursting gender stereotypes.”

Genderqueer and non-binary activists such as Alok Vaid-Menon and Jacob Tobia speak openly about their experiences with gender.

They use their platform as public figures to challenge the binary approach to gender, not only for the sake of folks like themselves, but also for the sake of cisgender men who feel like they must sacrifice part of themselves to fit the masculine mold.

Vaid-Menon has also spoken openly about the abuse and hatred they face on social media for their gender expression, including rape and death threats — something that, presumably, white cisgender men such as Reynolds don’t have to worry about.

We can also look to queer and Two-Spirit Indigenous folks such as Billy-Ray Belcourt and Joshua Whitehead for examples of how gender can be practised beyond the limitations of white settler masculinity.

“Within nêhiyawêwin (Cree) we divide language into categorizations of animate and inanimate rather than masculine and feminine, and it is through this that we hold ourselves accountable to all of our relations,” Whitehead explains.

However, the media seems intent on focusing on stories about the “cultural shift” of men taking up embroidery and other feminized art forms. And the public is eating is up; Reynolds’ recent piece for the Huffington Post was shared more than 6,000 times.

While Reynolds and other male cross-stitchers undoubtedly have good intentions, celebrating these men reinforces gender stereotypes rather than challenging them.