Denise Balkissoon
It didn’t even make the front page. Miriam Chrétien, 6, and her little sister Audrey, 3, shot to death in the wee hours of the morning of Sept. 30, 1998.
Shot. By their father. Rene Chrétien, 32, who then turned the gun on himself.
And the Ottawa Citizen didn’t even put the story on the front page. Relegated to the City section, the Oct. 1 headline read “Distraught father kills self, 2 daughters.” The article clarifies, stating Chrétien was “distraught over the breakup of his marriage.”
The Ottawa Sun did put the story on the front page on Oct. 1 and 2. Its Oct. 2 story ran under the headline “Killer dad doted on kids.” The article suggests Chrétien did not plan to kill his children, stating he “snapped while on a camping trip.”
Never mind that it wasn’t his turn to be with the girls. Never mind that he took Miriam out of school on that fateful day. Never mind that he took a hunting rifle with him.
Let’s look at the language here.
First, “distraught,” defined by the Canadian Oxford dictionary as “extremely worried, upset, fearful.”
Chrétien was “distraught” over impending divorce. But what does “worry and fear” over his marriage have to do with murdering his children?
Next is “doting,” defined as “foolishly or excessively fond of.” Fond of. Implying caring, affection, love.
And lastly, “snaps.” As in, all of a sudden.
There were 208 female homicide victims in Canada in 1993. Seventy-two per cent of them were killed by someone they knew.
Rene Chrétien and his estranged wife had been separated for two months when he shot their daughters. Nineteen per cent of women who report abuse in their marriages say the violence continues after separation. In fact, eight per cent of those women say the physical violence begins after they leave.
Once again: a “doting” father, “distraught” over impending divorces, “snaps” while camping with his children. And shoots them. It seems so benign, so average. His actions almost become understandable. Forgivable, even.
Look at a statement made by QPP Constable Gilles Couture, from the Sun on Oct. 1: “We found a letter explaining his gesture.”
Nothing could “explain” this to me. Nothing could explain why this happened, how we allowed it to happen, or why we continually use language that takes away from the horrific immorality of the act. Language that allows us to ignore the hundreds of women and children that are victims of physical violence in this country every single day.
I wrote about Miriam and Audrey because when I read about their deaths I closed my eyes, the pain so heavy in my heart I felt it drop. But there are others — Micheline Cuerrier, found with her throat slashed only two weeks after the deaths of the Chrétien girls, ex-boyfriend Gilles Lemieux charged in her murder. So many. And more every day.
Dec. 6 marks the anniversary of the massacre nine years ago at L’école Polytechnique in Montreal. Fourteen more women killed. For being women. Never forget that Marc Lepine told the male students to leave the room.
It’s a day to remember victims of violence — most often female victims of male violence, too often violence at the hands of those they trusted and loved.
Let’s remember by admitting the truth. Let’s describe these actions with words like aggression, anger, irrational, emotional, controlling, obsessive, abusive, hurtful, pain.
Violence. Call it by name.