By Mike Fegelman
Valentine’s Day has come and gone and what have we learne, boys and girls?
Not that edible underwear tastes like Smuckers grape jelly and not that you don’t sing like Sinatra in your failed attempt to serenade your loved one.
For those of you either out on recess or otherwise disposed of, please allow me to enlighten you on the true events transpiring this past weekend.
While most of you engaged in Valentine’s Day festivities by proxy of an unwritten obligation that you shared with your loved one, many of you didn’t notice you were part of a manufactured holiday, solely designed to garner huge profit margins for business interests.
The so-called “Hallmark Holiday” promotes red tag deals, steals, and must haves, all under the guise that each merchant provides an essential service, allowing you to once and for all prove your undying love.
From diamond engagement rings to elaborate floral designs to Hershey’s Kisses as tokens of sweet love, these artificial symbols are only manufacturing reality.
What happened to the good old days, when couples would write and recite poetry under a fig tree and then stay in and enjoy each other’s company?
Now, I’m not a complete cynic or a despot. I do see some merit as this artificial holiday allows couples to spend more time together. But whose interests are truly being served and when do we draw the line and stand up for some sense of integrity?
The truth is that Cupid is not as innocent as he seems. Think about it for a second. Sure, he’s as cute as a button with his dimples and pudgy physique, but he’s really an armed assailant complete with a bow and a stockpile of magical arrows. And he’s being wielded as a capitalistic symbol of consumer exploitation.
All you really have to do is add horns and a tail to the little guy and poof! You’ve got Damien’s doppelganger!
Every year, as Valentine’s Day comes and goes, people fall for this unabashed and transparent nothingness. But I’m going to take a stand, once and for all.
I hereby propose an anti-Valentine’s Day, where couples and bachelors vent their frustrations with one another and with greater society. No gifts would be exchanged unless they were homemade. And, as a result, no exploitation would occur. This would put some real substance into what Feb. 14 should be about.
Now that would be a holiday I would welcome with open arms and gladly celebrate.