As the recession deepens, Bill Ayotte sifts through memories of his battle with mental illness to find the one he says helps him inspire others to stay vigilant in their job searches.
“I didn’t have any direction in my life,” says Bill Ayotte. “I suffered from depression. When I was in the hospital I wanted out. I think when I was out I wanted in.”
Thirteen years later, Ayotte is in the basement of the Bronson Centre as the program coordinator at APPLE – “A Post-Psychiatric Leisure Experience” for people with mental illness.
“The thing that most helped me recover was probably coming here,” he says. “I had purpose again and that’s all it took. I knew when I got up in the morning I could come here and make this a better place.”
Through his office window he can see a makeshift living room where a dozen APPLE regulars are having coffee, playing solitaire, or eating cake. It’s the drop-in centre’s weekly movie night. Screams from a horror film punctuate every sideline conversation.
The mood is relaxed now, but Ayotte says one of APPLE’s pressing goals is to prepare visitors for the workforce.
“People with mental illness have been through a lot of losses,” he says. “They might do well, recover, and then get sick. That starts to affect their self-esteem. I think employment is one of the best ways to keep people healthy.”
When members aren’t enjoying games or low-cost outings, they’re at peer-support sessions or skill-building workshops at APPLE or in the community.
Ayotte says some visitors can find work on site. The centre’s 21 employees have psychiatric histories, as do many of its volunteers.
“If people have a job idea we can support it,” he says, pointing to the resident hairdresser.
With work-ready hair, Ayotte says members can visit the thrift shop in the next room to find low-cost clothing for job interviews.
Laura Belmont (not her real name) has worked part-time at APPLE since 2005. She started during a lull in her depression, but says her work organizing day trips and therapy groups helped her get through some dark times to follow.
“I’d studied psychology and mental illness,” Belmont says. “I left school, had no money, no motivation. Being here got me involved in my field. I felt energized.”
Even with other jobs on her schedule, Belmont says she isn’t busy enough.
“Everyone needs to be needed,” she says. “I’d like more money, but money doesn’t give your life meaning.”
Still, Ayotte says not everyone at APPLE has Belmont’s motivation.
“A fair number of people with mental illness are sort of just spinning their wheels,” he says. “Maybe it’s because they have a fear of failure or have been discriminated against.”
Frances Daly, an intake worker at Causeway Work Centre, notes a problem she’s encountered when providing APPLE members with job training.
“Many people have the impression that if they’re going to work they’ll put their disability support payments in jeopardy,” Daly says, “but these programs encourage people to work in whatever capacity they can.”
Such misconceptions are persistent, Daly says, and keep many pension collectors living in poverty.
Current programs are functioning, Ayotte says, but there’s no room for advocacy work or a bigger staff. The Trillium Foundation and provincial government fund APPLE’s thrift shop and drop-in centre, respectively, but Ayotte says the budget barely reaches $100,00 a year.
“To do everything here properly you need two or three staff here full-time,” he says, noting the centre’s evening- and weekend-only hours. “I have more ideas than I have time for.”
The ideas he can execute have bittersweet results, Ayotte says.
“Eventually our members might not need our services, which is fine,” he says. “I guess that would be the ultimate goal.”