By Irek Kusmierczyk
Federal Human Resources Minister Jane Stewart’s reputation isn’t the only thing getting grilled in Ottawa these days.
The Mayflower Restaurant & Pub on Elgin Street is serving “The Boondoggle Burger” as a tasteful jab at the Human Resources department’s mismanagement of $1 billion dollars in funds — the so-called “billion-dollar boondoggle.”
A leaflet attached to the menu describes the burger as a “plain Jane burger. It’s topped with only B.S. (BBQ Sauce), accompanied by a liberal serving of salad.”
The Boondoggle Burger sells for an indigestible $19.99. But a “grant” from the server knocks it down to a palatable $6.79.
Ottawa Centre Liberal MP Mac Harb says he’s a breakfast regular at The Mayflower but hasn’t yet tried the scandalous burger.
“There’s no meat in this boondoggle, it’s all bones,” says Harb. “I like this place, but I want to find out what’s so good about this burger.”
Harb has only one piece of advice to the servers giving out the grants: tighten up the return policy.
“If there’s no meat in this Boondoggle Burger, do you return your grant?” asks Harb.
Harb says it’s important that a national inquiry be set up immediately by the opposition — in this case Harvey’s or McDonald’s — to examine this latest boondoggle.
Diane Ablonczy, Reform Party’s Human Resources critic, says the boondoggle idea is hilarious and will use it a House of Commons speech. However, all jokes aside, Ablonczy cautions the matter needs serious investigating.
“There’s a lot of beef there on the part of the people,” says Ablonczy. “We need to take a look at the hidden ingredients.”
The restaurant’s manager, Bob Jones, says he’s sold 75 of the burgers since he began serving them March 1.
“People are calling on the phone saying way to go,” says Jones. “It’s like a movement. They love the idea.”
In fact, Jones says some people insist on taking the menus home with them as a souvenir.
Jones would be more of a ham if he took all the credit. In planning a burger bonanza, it was his wife Maureen who came up with the idea.
Carrie Clarke, a waitress at The Mayflower, says she’s served The Boondoggle Burger to a pair of civil servants who specifically asked for the burger.
“They loved it,” says Clarke. “And I feel a sense of power because I can withold the grant.” However, she says she’s never refused a grant so far.
Jones says he’s planning on sending special invitations to Opposition members.
The Mayflower II on Queen Street doesn’t sell The Boondoggle Burger, even though it’s owned by the same people and is only a short walk from Parliament Hill.
It was the restaurant’s first venture into political satire, says Jones.
But in the past, whenever a Liberal convention was in town, The Mayflower would advertise its “liberal portions.” When the Conservatives showed up, they’d showcase their “conservative prices.”
As for the future, Jones says it shouldn’t be long before the government gives them more material to work with. He says they’re considering a Shawinigan Salad — though he doesn’t know what its ingredients will be.