The Sports Beat, Brian Salisbury
It’s Monday night. You settle into your favorite chair and grab for your trusty remote. The TV flickers on. Seems relaxing enough, right? Wrong.
Now that Major League Baseball’s playoffs are in full swing, the NFL is off and running, and the NHL is back on the ice, sports fans around Ottawa are going to be pulling their hair out trying to decide which game to watch.
Let’s see — you can either watch bubblegum-chewing jocks hurling 90 mile per hour fastballs at each other, or 300-pound brutes chasing around an inflated pigskin, or better yet, follow a tiny piece of rubber coveted by stick-wielding, toothless warriors.
Decisions, decisions.
The most devoted sports fans might want to get two VCRs so they can watch one game and tape the others; while the less-dedicated may choose to rotate games between commercials.
After the tough decisions have been made and the game chosen, you might want to try some of the following suggestions for a more realistic viewing experience.
During baseball games, you could move your TV out to the back yard and set up some bleachers. Hopefully, you won’t get rained out. While you’re out back, fire up the barbecue for some ballpark-style hot dogs — always a fan favorite. And let’s not forget to water down the beer in true major league stadium fashion.
Not to be outdone, football fans could throw a pre-game tailgate party out in the driveway. Invite all of your buddies over — that way you’ll have enough people to spell out your favorite team’s name with paint on your stomachs. If that doesn’t get you into the game, nothing will. Quality bonding all around.
Lastly, hockey buffs out there have a great opportunity right now to emulate their favorite players. Instead of holding out for more money, hold out for a bigger TV. It’s the next best thing. After you’ve received your new TV, have your buddies over. Charge them only five dollars a beer, just like at the Corel Centre; better yet, how about asking $75 for a front row Lazy-boy. You’ll feel like you’re at the game in no time.
Now that you’ve got the pre-game viewing instructions, go out there and do some major cheering. But remember, it’s all in good fun.
If you’ve thought of asking your loved ones to sing the national anthem before sitting down to watch, you’ve you’ve gone too far. Happy viewing.