A missing bag of marbles, a teacher’s disapproving glance, a scary movie on TV. What may seem trivial to an adult, may be highly stressful for a child, and Rahma Ali is spreading the word that something can be done about it.
“When adults have stress we say, ‘I need to get out, I need to go and see a friend, I need to go for vacation,’ ” says Ali, the leader of a workshop that aims to equip parents with the tools to better help their children deal with stress. “We must help children learn the mechanisms to help themselves deal with these problems.”
Ali has been running the Kids Have Stress Too! program at the Centretown Community Health Centre for five years. The two-day course emphasizes the need to pay close attention to a child’s behaviour patterns.
Ali says it’s important not only to seek medical advice, but to assure that there is an open dialogue between child and parent in case there are hidden stressors.
“Look at your child in the eyes, nod your head and don’t interrupt them, or complete their sentence," says Ali. "After they are done speaking tell them that it is okay, that you understand what they are saying.”
Paula Blackmore is a mother of five and a daycare employee who attended the Kids Have Stress Too! workshop in hopes that she might bring the knowledge into her own home and workplace.
She says the program has opened her eyes to some of the pressures children face today.
“When I was a child my mom was there, as well as my grandparents, and the community would be involved in raising a family, " says Blackmore.
"But today a lot of parents are working and there are more sudden life changes.”
Amadeo D’Angiulli, an assistant professor of psychology at Carleton University and an expert on child stress, agrees there may be changes to social environments. However, he adds that people are more aware now of psychological concepts such as stress, and more likely to intervene when the effects become apparent.
“Until maybe 20 years ago there were scientists that were still skeptical about the statement that children, or infants, were experiencing pain," says D’Angiulli. "But through testing the release of such hormones as cortisol, we definitely know that children have similar response to adults in terms of the brain and their hormonal response to pain and to stress.”
Anguilli says perhaps society’s added sensitivity to stress may create anxious personalities.
Rahma Ali equally emphasizes that adults must take care of their own mental and physical health before they can properly begin to take care of their children.
“You have to recognize your own stress,” she says. “Even newborn babies feel pressure of the stress when their parents have it. Understand your own, try to deal with it in your own way and then give your children the tools to deal with theirs.”
For information about Kids Have Stress Too! and other programs offered by the Centretown Community Health Centre visit www.centretownchc.org .