As a fairly skeptical person, I’ve never gotten much out of chick flicks.
The women are too dramatic, the men do too many unrealistic big gestures, and the endings are far too predictable.
I know women say they like chick flicks because they are an escape from reality, but I think the line between what is purely entertainment and what is real has become blurred with the saturation of pop culture.
Because these movies incorporate relatable characters with ridiculous storylines, women begin to compare their relationships with those on-screen and themselves with the female characters. And they start to believe that if their relationships aren’t filled with whirlwind romance and kisses in the rain, then they’re inadequate.
So I wasn’t totally surprised when I read that a man from the United States decided to watch 30 chick flicks in 30 days in an effort to better understand the opposite sex.
Oklahoma resident Nick Waters, 28, started his movie marathon on Jan.15 and watched a recent “chick flick” every day with his wife for 30 days, finishing the day before Valentine’s Day.
During the process, he wrote about the movies he’d watched and his reactions to these films on his blog.
Waters says he began the project to help him become a better husband and a better person, and says the movies truly taught him how to relate better to his wife. “Watching a concentration of interaction between the genders has given me both insight, and the opportunity to evaluate relationships to include my own marriage,” says Waters. “I read (my wife’s) non-verbal cues, or body language, better; I’m a better (more sensual) kisser; and I’ve learned a lot about what not to do in our relationship. Also, I can personally tell that I am now more sensitive toward my wife.”
I have to admit, as a woman, I felt a little insulted that Waters thought he had unlocked the essence of the opposite sex by watching a bunch of (bad) movies.
There is no cookie cutter method to understanding women – or men for that matter – and I definitely don’t ever find myself identifying with characters in these movies.
Waters didn’t have me convinced that he had really learned anything, so I decided to talk to some experts to see if I was just being cynical.
“There is no film or book or anything that can summarize any human being in any way,” says Diane Pacom, a professor of sociology at the University of Ottawa. “It’s a very reductionist perspective.”
She agreed that movies give us an exaggerated idea of human experience, not an accurate one.
Pacom also proposed something interesting: the idea of a relationship based on love is actually fairly new, and people are grasping frantically at whatever they can get in order to understand how to make relationships like this work.
“Years ago, in my grandmother’s generation, people married for reasons other than love – they married to survive, gain social status, etc.,” says Sue Johnson, a professor of clinical psychology at the University of Ottawa and author of the therapy book Hold Me Tight.
“It’s only recently that people have begun to base a relationship on love, so it’s useful to think we’re all trying to figure these relationships out.”
Although I still had my doubts, I was starting to believe that maybe Waters’ little project actually did make an impact on his relationship.
I’m not saying it was the chick flicks that did it, but rather the fact that he was willing to endure them all just to make his wife happy, and create a pretext for better communication.
Any guy in general that would go to those lengths to try and make their partner happy – no matter what the activity – understands women a little more than he even thinks.
I can cut Waters some slack – as long as he doesn’t resort to the boom box blasting Peter Gabriel next time he wants to rekindle the spark in his marriage.