For years, it was something they wouldn’t talk about.
But the conversation is starting to get louder and the Ottawa Senior Pride Network is now stepping up its efforts to help gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and queer seniors who have been forced back into the closet in long-term care.
“It’s a very old topic, it’s been around a long time, but it hasn’t been discussed,” says Judy Bedell of the Good Companions, the Albert Street centre dedicated to providing services and programs for senior citizens.
Made up of various organizations within Ottawa, and based out of the Centretown Community Health Centre, the Pride Network was formed in 2008.
Since then it has been community-building among older GLBTQ residents of Ottawa, with activities ranging from organizing social events to the current focus on improving elder-care services.
Bedell says many GLBTQ seniors grew up thinking it wasn’t OK for them to be themselves. Many are estranged from their families and friends. She says this creates challenges for queer seniors in hospitals, long-term care facilities and even in their own homes.
Some people are afraid to have home care, says Bedell, because they're afraid of how it might look if strange men or women come to their homes.
“Those old fears from a lifetime of hiding are really alive and well,” she says.
Many of these seniors may have been open about their sexual identities when they were younger, but have gone back into the closet in long-term care, she says. Others were never out to begin with. Some have come out of the closet at a late age.
As positive as this may be, Bedell says it can be confusing.
“Where do you go, what do you say, how do you be, when you’ve been living in a straight world, as a straight person, when you’re not?” she says.
The challenges also extend to members of seniors’ families. Bedell says the children and siblings of senior citizens in long-term care facilities and hospitals are often forced back into the closet, as people’s living arrangements and social contacts change over time.
Marie Robertson, from the Lesbian Information Exchange, has fought for queer rights for decades. Changing the treatment of GLBTQ seniors is the next step for her as she ages, she says.
“It’s sort of the last frontier.”
She says some queer seniors have been forced into the closet in order to get the same care as everybody else. All the language on forms and other documentation did not allow for homosexuality as an option, she says.
“It’s just this huge assumption of heterosexuality,” Robertson says.
Even staff are often uncomfortable with outing themselves in the workplace, she says.
Partners can be split up in long-term care because of this assumption and because of fear. Bedell says that intimacy just wasn’t an option in many cases.
At the end of March, Ottawa Senior Pride Network was denied an application for funding through the United Way. Both Bedell and Robertson say this won't deter their efforts.
Robertson says over the next several months, the Pride Network has many events planned to spread the word about issues surrounding elder care and plans to attend the Ottawa Pride Parade.
Bedell and Robertson say it's important to engage with the younger queer community.
Bedell says many younger people don’t know about the sacrifices made by some of their elders.
They say it’s important to keep the conversation going.
Awareness and education are primary goals of the Pride Network’s efforts, as well as giving queer seniors the care they have often not received.