Eileen Murphy runs a support group for elderly lesbians and bisexual women.
Despite being home to a large gay population, Centretown is still a place where lesbian seniors face high levels of isolation.
They sit on the wrong side of a generation gap that’s left many in the closet and estranged from the community. Many of them don’t seek out the health and support services they need because they fear discrimination.
“Those that are above 60 still remember it being against the law,” says Eileen Murphy, organizer of Sage Ottawa, a support group for lesbian and bisexual women. “A lot of them have never come out and are afraid to come out.”
For seniors, isolation is more than simply being lonely. Without anyone to rely on, seniors are often unable to perform everyday tasks, from personal care to grocery shopping.
This often leads to worsening health problems, depression and reliance on drugs or medications.
About 10 per cent of all seniors are isolated. In its annual neighbourhood report, the Ottawa Neighbourhood Study noted a high proportion of seniors live alone in Centretown, leaving them vulnerable to isolation.
Murphy says the problem has been prevalent in Centretown’s lesbian community.
The 63-year-old has been running Sage for the past 15 years. The group of 16 or so women, ranging from 40 to 70 years old, meets once a month. Members get the chance to socialize and talk about housing and health issues.
“This month, we’re doing the Wii system. That’s to show them how it can be beneficial for them to exercise with,” Murphy says. “I tried it out last November. I’m hooked. I use it almost every day.”
Murphy says members use the group because it’s anonymous.
“The only reason they’d come out is because it’s in an ordinary building. They now that people go in there for all kinds of reasons so it’s not identified as a gay building,” Murphy says. “We’re providing a safe space for women to go.”
Members of the group say Sage helps prevent lesbian seniors from becoming isolated.
“I felt very isolated before I came out at got involved and found a group,” says longtime member Jan Strudwick. “When I first came out six years ago, it was a lifeline.”
Whereas younger gays and lesbians have grown up in an era of greater acceptance, Bill Ryan, adjunct professor at the McGill University School of Social Work, says gay and lesbian seniors grew up in a time when they could be forced to undergo psychiatric treatment for their sexuality.
Those memories persist today.
“When they go into senior citizen’s centres, they’re not going to come out and say, ‘Hi, I’m gay’ or ‘I’m lesbian,’ because their whole lives have conditioned them not to do that,” Ryan says. “Their main coping strategy has been to hide.”
As a result, Ryan says many gay and lesbian seniors don’t get the help they need until it’s too late.
“Seniors won’t get homecare when they need it, they wont go for help when they need it, they wont go to the doctor as quickly as other people when they need it,” Ryan says. “Because they don’t want to experience discrimination.”
On the other side of the equation, Ryan says many medical and social services often don’t take into account the fact that a good many seniors are gay.
But attitudes are changing.
Judy Bidel runs the isolated seniors program at the Good Companions Seniors’ Centre. She says the centre has introduced programs such as the Rainbow Coffee House to reach out to isolated gay seniors.
“There’s a population that lived in complete anonymity for fear of bullying and targeting and they’re still that way,” Bidel says. “The world is changing but they haven’t changed. They’ve got a lifetime of abuse if you will, or a lifetime of being closeted.”
Bidel says staying physically active is key to preventing elderly isolation.